IVF: Axis of Evil

Originally posted August 21 2006 

We are now into the 18th week, half way through the adventure and its just flying by.

 This has a bit to do with having Lou’s parents out from England and staying with us for 3 weeks, there were times that Bean almost dropped from our conscious. But that’s a story for another time. 

Much to my relief the bump has finally appeared in the last week. This small, yet growing issue has caused more grumblings of discontent, than the constant tiredness, motion sickness, feeling disgusting etc etc etc.

Now considering that I am about to be a father in a rapidly decreasing period of time, there are certain items on the agenda that require pre planning/purchasing on the scale of a George W Bush war on anything. The potential for a UN peace keeping force being deployed in the Republic of Skew to reestablish order/peace prior to the arrival of Bean is on the horizon.

The Axis of Evil is a simple 3 part synergy that has the untold ability and power to bring one soon to be father to his knees.

Evil #1 Pram Shopping

Evil #2 Name Books

Evil #3 Identifying the sex.

Each evil is worthy of its own documentation, but a quick synopsis will hopefully garner a limited amount of sympathy from you.

Evil #1:

It is harder to choose/purchase a Pram than it is to buy a car.

·        3 wheels or 4?

·        Turning circle and navigation of checkout/shopping aisles

·        The collapse Pack and Hurl. (alternating with the )

·        Yank, Expand and Roll.

o       I reckon this should be an Olympic sport: whereby a stop watch is placed on said parent as they use a recently gained engineering degree required to operate the compaction and extraction of a pram, the ability to lift and hurl into/out of the back of the car with one hand, whilst avoiding the agony of shin bruising and popping a shoulder.

Evil #2:

Why did I have to go to an all boy’s school. If it’s a boy the odds of picking a name that is not related to alumni, a teacher, pet or Progressive DJ is rather remote. If it’s a girl, the hours spent by “Mother to Be” scanning weekend newspaper announcements of new borne’s will ensure she has a name currently sitting outside the Top 20, yet does not indicated that she is Nanna material before the age of 5.

Evil #3

Do we or don’t we? Should it be a surprise or do I relent to my somewhat impatient wife? There are the presents and the decorating to think of as well, if you read the wrong books. (Do I need to be pre ordering beans first Swans jersey or submitting an enrolment for June Daley Watkins School of finishing for young ladies?)

 So that’s the pre occupation of weeks 16 – 18 and I am sure that these will either negate or worsen as time marches on.

Most importantly is that Bean is getting bigger strong and that beats the hell out of Pram, Name and Sex ID issues every single day of the week.

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~ by Rob McClintock on August 21, 2006.

One Response to “IVF: Axis of Evil”

  1. […] Part 16 IVF: Axis of Evil […]

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