IVF: The Scary Bit

Originally posted May 31 2006

Well we are 7 weeks in and it has all a bit hair raising to say the least. Lou has packed herself and the bean off to Bali for a few days for “Work” = Shopping Junket We are both bordering on madness of not knowing whether to carry on like kiddies in a candy shop, or chewing our nails to the bone with anxiety

 Lou is starting to show early signs of lunacy, with cramps and general body grumblings. As well as sudden lover affair with Harry’s Chilli Dog D’Wheels.We have had two blood tests and all of the levels are where they should be. But at this stage Beans arms and legs have started to lengthen, got a bit of a nose with the beginnings of hands n feet. The heart has divided into the right and left chambers and is beating about 10 beats a minute. (Oh dear he’s gone straight past house dropped in on techno and now headed for happy hard. so like its father   ) And the little guys’ liver kidneys lungs and other internal organs are nearing completion.So it’s all a lot to take in. Hope you can all keep up.It is amazing how the realisation of it all, can be such a slow and gradual build. Especially when you first state to notice the change in your thoughts, I have realized I am starting to wrap up one chapter on my life, and should start drafting the next one. Relishing moments that I know will be experienced completely different once a child is in my arms. And I am so looking forward to that!! Bit by bit your world revolves that little bit further.

I prefer it that way, it has given me the opportunity to look around and compare things that were once of no interest to me. Sometimes it shows me how grateful I should be for what I have been given. Other times, it’s about looking forward to the challenges and daring to think that you will be a molding influence on a human being. I have also stung myself by realizing how much change I may have to make to my life and thinking whether I can do it? How selfish. I pull myself up and say that I just can’t think that way anymore; I have to be 100% considerate in my judgments and decisions for a child. I have also seen the occasional glimpse of motherhood in Lou’s eye. I can’t help but smile at the thought.

My beautiful girl and bouncin’ bean

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~ by Rob McClintock on May 31, 2006.

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